Taking care of a parent with dementia can be emotionally and physically overwhelming. Your responsibilities shift and their symptoms evolve, meaning you constantly have to adjust your approach. There are several ways to support the care of a patient with dementia and help your parent feel safe, comfortable, and valued, while also nurturing your relationship despite the challenges. Main coping mechanisms may include simplifying communication, practicing patience and compassion, and accepting support from others.
Below, the experts from Copeland Oaks will explore what dementia is, offer practical tips for managing care, and provide resources to support caregivers as they navigate this difficult journey.
What Is Dementia?
According to Alzhiemers.gov, dementia is “an umbrella term used to describe a range of neurological conditions affecting the brain that worsen over time. It is the loss of the ability to think, remember, and reason to levels that affect daily life and activities.” Dementia is common for aging seniors, with one third of all people age 85 or older experiencing some form of dementia. There are a few types of dementia, including: Alzheimer’s disease, Frontotemporal dementia (FTD), Lewy body dementia (LBD), Vascular dementia, and Mixed dementia.
Common Symptoms of Dementia
While the major symptom associated with dementia is memory loss, the other symptoms will vary based on the type of dementia the patient has and which areas of their brain are affected. Repeatedly noticing any of the following symptoms in an aging loved one may point to a dementia diagnosis:
- Memory loss, poor judgment, and confusion
- Changes in the ability to speak, understand, and express thoughts, and to write and read
- Wandering and getting lost in a familiar area
- Trouble handling money and paying bills
- Repeating questions
- Using unusual words to refer to familiar objects
- Taking longer to complete normal daily tasks
- Loss of interest in normal daily activities or events
- Hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia
- Acting impulsively
- Not caring about other people’s feelings
- Problems with balance and movement
If you notice your loved one struggling with the above symptoms, visiting a primary care doctor will be the first step toward a diagnosis. Be prepared to help your parent answer questions about their medical history and inform them there will be a physical exam as well as neurological tests. This appointment will assess balance, sensory response, reflexes, and more. The next step might include a referral to a neurologist, who will likely have the expertise needed for an official dementia diagnosis.
Tips for Helping a Parent with Dementia
As a caregiver of a parent with dementia, you are one of 16 million family members across the nation devoting themselves to this worthy cause. But let’s start by saying this: The caregiving club is likely one you never wanted to join. While caring for your mother or father as they age is an honor, it has its fair share of struggles as well. In order to keep your care routine sustainable, we have compiled a list of tips for how to take care of a parent with dementia that will support both your parent and yourself on the dementia journey.
Educate Yourself
If you are helping a parent with dementia, it’s important to understand what they are experiencing in order to empathize with their situation. Remember – your mother or father is not a child, and they’re not a poorly behaved adult. They are battling a complex brain disease that is impacting their daily life. By understanding some of the complexities of their specific diagnosis, their triggers, and what things keep them regulated, your days will be much more manageable.
Communicate Effectively
When handling care of a patient with dementia, communication is key. Approach conversations with patience and use simple language. If others are around, be sure to include the patient in the conversation whenever possible, rather than letting them sit in silence (a common behavior for those with dementia).
For family or friend visits, schedule them earlier in the day when your parent is likely at their best. If appropriate, introduce the visitor with their name and explain their relationship to your parent. Remember to manage expectations of how your parent will respond. If they get you confused with someone else, consider stepping into their world and accepting that narrative. Rather than focusing on correcting them, accept their view of things and focus on loving and supporting them.
Prioritize Safety
At some point, safety will become a major priority for your parent with dementia. Begin considering any necessary home modifications, such as removing tripping hazards, installing grab bars in the bathroom, securing dangerous items, hanging easy-to-read signs, and more. Preventing your parent from wandering and getting lost is also vital – door alarms and GPS trackers can help with this. As always, remember to be patient, communicate clearly, and schedule regular medical check-ups to catch any injuries you might have missed.
Establish a Routine
If you are helping a parent with dementia, establishing a daily routine will help them know what to expect when they wake up each morning. Knowing when they are supposed to bathe, get dressed, enjoy a meal, or go for a walk may also help them maintain a level of independence – which is important for their overall wellness.
When deciding on your parent’s routine, think about the general schedule they have always kept. If they are evening bathers, keep their shower or bath in the evening. If they visit their local coffee shop every morning, maintain that routine as much as possible. It may help if you write out their routine and place it in the main area of the house, even breaking down the steps to each part of the routine when necessary. In time, you may need to assist your parent with the entire routine – but ideally, they can manage some of it independently for as long as possible.
Manage Medications
You may need to help your parent manage their medications. If possible, speak with their doctor, so you can fully understand their medicine regime. Then, work taking medicine into their daily routine – potentially with a meal, if necessary. Consider buying a pill box to organize their medications, allowing them to visualize what to take and when.
Encourage Physical Activity
When your parent is facing a dementia diagnosis, keeping them physically active will improve their mood and sleep, reduce the risk of falls, provide opportunities for social interaction, and more. Your parent can focus on low-impact activities such as walking, swimming, or chair exercises. Incorporating their favorite music is a great way to help them enjoy exercise! You can also consider signing them up for exercise classes at the local recreation center – many have Silver Sneakers classes that will be perfect for your mom or dad.
Allow Others to Help
There is no way you can care for your parent by yourself. You will need regular help from others to keep your care for them sustainable. Consider a rotating schedule with other close family members and friends so you have breaks throughout the week. Perhaps another family member can handle dinners while you have the evening to yourself. Additionally, having on-call help for emergencies is essential.
If you find yourself without additional support when caring for a parent with dementia, you might begin thinking about professional care options. Below we will share more about transitioning your parent to an assisted living memory care residence.
When to Consider Professional Care Options
Choosing to transition your parent with dementia to a memory care facility can be a difficult decision. The conflicting feelings may seem overwhelming – that is normal. The truth is, you might not be equipped to provide the level of care needed at all hours of the day, and most homes are not built to accommodate the special needs of those with memory loss. Knowing you have options during your caretaking journey will make the eventual transition to residential living easier.
You might be wondering, “when is it time to look for memory care communities near me?” If your parent has received a dementia diagnosis, it’s important to research memory care assisted living facilities for an option that is experienced with taking care of patients with dementia. While the time might never feel “right,” it’s important to take care of this search for professional care options before a crisis strikes. A few signs that professional support is needed include:
- Struggling to complete a daily routine at home
- Safety issues such as falling, wandering out the door, operating appliances, etc.
- Evolving needs after a medical event or hospital stay
- Strong emotional or mental distress
- Lack of external support for their main caretaker(s)
It may be time to start the conversation about moving your parent to a residential facility with memory care services if you are noticing the above signs and are beginning to feel burnt out. Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs) are a great option as they offer a continuum of care all in the same facility. So as your parent’s needs continue to evolve, they can stay on the same campus. Whatever you choose, trust in knowing you are doing what your parent needs at this time. As they receive their care from professionals, you can now focus on loving them in a different way – creating beloved memories in their new season of life.
Memory Care at Copeland Oaks
The team at Copeland Oaks is here to support you and your parent with professional, quality care whenever you feel it’s the right choice. Our primary goal is to slow the progression of memory loss while also empowering individuals to enjoy their independence. Schedule a tour today to experience the beauty of our campus – we know your whole family will love it!